Question 1

Isn't this just another agency with a meaner name?

Accepted Answer

No catalog of 13 offers. No ad buying. No rebrand packages. We diagnose leaks, rebuild the costly page, and measure lift. If you need a full-service team, we're the wrong hire — on purpose.

Question 2

Why pay when Lighthouse / Hotjar / ChatGPT are free?

Accepted Answer

Free tools show symptoms. The Autopsy returns a ranked money-leak map tied to your analytics, spend, and live page — plus a repair queue with effort tags. That's a decision product, not a rewrite prompt.

Question 3

Will you just recommend more work so you can sell the repair?

Accepted Answer

The scorecard stands alone. Founding members get 100% autopsy credit toward First Repair within 30 days — so the incentive is to be useful, not to pad the queue. You can DIY the repair list.

Question 4

What if my traffic is too low to measure lift?

Accepted Answer

We'll say so. Low-traffic funnels get qualitative repair priorities and a measurement plan for when volume arrives. We won't invent statistical significance you don't have.

Question 5

Can you be bought — will you soft-pedal bad news?

Accepted Answer

The brand is the opposite of soft-pedaling. If the offer is the leak, the scorecard says the offer is the leak. Retainers are optional; honesty is the product.

Question 6

Is this vaporware? Do you have real baselines?

Accepted Answer

v1 ships with anonymized demo scorecards and a public repair-log format. Named case studies with baseline → intervention → timeframe → method get published as they're permissioned. We don't invent testimonials.

Question 7

Who qualifies?

Accepted Answer

SaaS or service businesses with some traffic, leads, or sales calls — and conversion economics that feel broken. Brand-new zero-traffic idea validation is not the fit.

Question 8

What do you need from me?

Accepted Answer

URL, analytics access or exports, ad spend snapshot if relevant, and what “success” means in one primary metric. Autopsy turns around in 7 days from complete inputs.

Get your funnel scored

Score the leak in five questions.

Do you have real traffic (or ad spend) hitting a page?

Sample scorecard + 12-point checklist

Email the sample scorecard + checklist